I know that one of the first steps for success in a weight loss goal is to be honest with yourself on where you really are. That means, not just wearing your bigger pants and telling yourself you're not getting heavier. Well, I am doing that. I won't say I'm comfortable enough to share my 'actual' weight here . . . let's just say I'm still over the elusive 200 - well over. My first goal is to hit 180. Why 180? Because during my last significant weight loss journey, I got into the 'one-derlands' only to freak out and sabotage myself. I couldn't get down below 195 consistently. This time I'm going to try to sail through the 90's, and back into the 80s. How fitting, since I'm such an 80's child! ;-)
I'm still dealing with those little guilt voices . . . sort of hard to ignore when you're eating ARBY'S and you're supposed to be on a diet!!! Let me just say, I haven't - to my knowledge - gone over 1500 calories per day in the nearly two weeks I've been doing this. That's huge! Since we're being honest, that includes eating from Outback, Taco Bell, Arby's, and a couple of local restaurants. It has been so exciting to learn how to eat at the places I love and make better choices.
Ok, I know, I'm probably going at this the wrong way. Most people start a diet eating at home more, and add restaurants gradually. I had to prove I could keep my crazy lifestyle and still make better choices. To tell you the truth, eating at restaurants had more comfort, because I knew what their calorie counts were versus my own recipes.
One recipe I did get right was the pita pizzas from last night. How great! I tracked down the Joseph's 60 calorie pizzas from the Walmart Neighborhood grocery, and added pizza sauce, ham, mushrooms, and mozzarella. By my calculation, it was under - or just at - 200 calories. Wow!!! When was the last time I ate a 200 calorie dinner??? Ok, I really didn't. I only made one, and I was full, so I didn't make a second. I had a toasted pita with 2 Tbls of salsa (yummo! - 70 calories!!!) and then when I made my husband his pita pizzas, I took a 1/4 of one of his. I still had room for a Skinny Cow ice cream bar. And I wasn't cheating!!! Did I say wow???
I'm not sure how to get through the guilt or self doubt that tends to keep creeping in, but I am determined to see this through. Oh! I didn't tell you . . . my 8 year old has also seen benefits! He went to the doctor 12 days ago. He weighed today and is down 5 pounds!!! Ok, 3-a-week football practice in the Florida heat hasn't hurt, but it was a victory just the same. He was so proud of himself, and I am proud too.
I was talking with Elizabeth about finding a new tag that reflects my Southern roots. If anyone has a suggestion, I'm interested!
Make it a good one.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Winning against the Office spread
We've all been there . . . you're 'trying to be good,' but it's so-and-so's birthday, so there is cake. Or, we finished a project, so we go to lunch. Or, it is Tuesday, so someone baked the cake. Whatever it is, if you work with people, chances are you work with additional food from time to time!
Today was a triple wammy. We have a large group of folks in the office for training, so we always load up on snacks and goodies at Costco. My desk is directly across from the kitchen. I face food all day. Second challenge - it was one of our attendee's birthdays, so someone baked a better-than-sex cake (you know, the one with sweetened condensed milk POURED all over it?), and then finally - the lunch. Rather than having everyone run out for lunch, we cater the training lunches. Today was pizza and salad. Yum.
It's not that I couldn't have had the pizza and salad. All things considered, I could have done pretty well with that. Here is why I didn't . . . I needed to prove that I could take control of this situation and walk away. Before the pizza was delivered, I headed off to Publix and bought fixins for pita pizza for tonight. I then went to Chicken Kitchen and got my favorite bowl (1 scoop brown rice, 1 scoop black beans, chicken, lettuce, and tomato). The pizza showed just as I was digging in. The beans are so filling I feel absolutely stuffed!!!
I got a nectarine to enjoy too, just in case I was feeling a call from the mini brownies later today, but I'm not sure I can even fit it in! Maybe in a few hours. Hmm. Wonder of wonders. Maybe I can do this!
I have also noticed that I feel thinner, even though I may not really be much thinner since this start. See yesterday for the skinny comment (still lovin that one!), but today as I was walking into Publix I noticed I felt good. I feel good. I feel thinner and more healthy. Yay me. Yay for my husband. Yay for my family. We are all winning because I am making these conscious good choices every day.
Make it a good one.
Today was a triple wammy. We have a large group of folks in the office for training, so we always load up on snacks and goodies at Costco. My desk is directly across from the kitchen. I face food all day. Second challenge - it was one of our attendee's birthdays, so someone baked a better-than-sex cake (you know, the one with sweetened condensed milk POURED all over it?), and then finally - the lunch. Rather than having everyone run out for lunch, we cater the training lunches. Today was pizza and salad. Yum.
It's not that I couldn't have had the pizza and salad. All things considered, I could have done pretty well with that. Here is why I didn't . . . I needed to prove that I could take control of this situation and walk away. Before the pizza was delivered, I headed off to Publix and bought fixins for pita pizza for tonight. I then went to Chicken Kitchen and got my favorite bowl (1 scoop brown rice, 1 scoop black beans, chicken, lettuce, and tomato). The pizza showed just as I was digging in. The beans are so filling I feel absolutely stuffed!!!
I got a nectarine to enjoy too, just in case I was feeling a call from the mini brownies later today, but I'm not sure I can even fit it in! Maybe in a few hours. Hmm. Wonder of wonders. Maybe I can do this!
I have also noticed that I feel thinner, even though I may not really be much thinner since this start. See yesterday for the skinny comment (still lovin that one!), but today as I was walking into Publix I noticed I felt good. I feel good. I feel thinner and more healthy. Yay me. Yay for my husband. Yay for my family. We are all winning because I am making these conscious good choices every day.
Make it a good one.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Skinny - You talkin' to me?
I saw someone today who I haven't seen for several years. I'm at least 60 pounds lighter than the last time she saw me. After talking for a while, she said, "You look skinny! Have you lost weight?" I know that it's common to comment on weight loss when you haven't seen someone, and we normally say it to be nice. The word 'skinny' was the word that got me. Skinny. Me? Is there someone behind me? Now, let me just say that I am NOT in any fashion skinny . . . I am just hardly below the plus size line still; however, the word did make me pause.
It made me proud of what I've already accomplished, and how I am moving forward to achieve new accomplishments on this food journey. I didn't tell her that I had gained back some of what I originally lost. That's not important. It also isn't important that I don't, nor would she - really, consider myself skinny. Maybe one day. I just liked the word choice today. I needed that word choice today.
It became more important as I left her to go to a meeting with an old friend and colleague. I had guessed she might suggest we go to my all-time favorite mexican restaurant. Today I made a huge shift though. Rather than just say, "If we go there, I'll just eat whatever and get back on the plan later" - I had an attack plan in mind!!! And, who am I???
I had already determined I would have two beef tacos - a la carte. Lucky me, they were on the lunch special too! I would also allow myself a reasonable number of their yummy chips and salsa. I think I ate less than 10. Perhaps right at 10. And I wasn't mad about it! I didn't feel deprived!!! I was satisfied, and happy with my choice. Happy with myself. Score one for the home team.
Not skinny yet, but I'm getting there in my mind. Thanks for the compliment, my friend.
Make it a good day.
It made me proud of what I've already accomplished, and how I am moving forward to achieve new accomplishments on this food journey. I didn't tell her that I had gained back some of what I originally lost. That's not important. It also isn't important that I don't, nor would she - really, consider myself skinny. Maybe one day. I just liked the word choice today. I needed that word choice today.
It became more important as I left her to go to a meeting with an old friend and colleague. I had guessed she might suggest we go to my all-time favorite mexican restaurant. Today I made a huge shift though. Rather than just say, "If we go there, I'll just eat whatever and get back on the plan later" - I had an attack plan in mind!!! And, who am I???
I had already determined I would have two beef tacos - a la carte. Lucky me, they were on the lunch special too! I would also allow myself a reasonable number of their yummy chips and salsa. I think I ate less than 10. Perhaps right at 10. And I wasn't mad about it! I didn't feel deprived!!! I was satisfied, and happy with my choice. Happy with myself. Score one for the home team.
Not skinny yet, but I'm getting there in my mind. Thanks for the compliment, my friend.
Make it a good day.
Monday, July 26, 2010
I survived the first one!
No, not the first week (although I did that too).
I survived my first dinner prepared by my mother. Usually, I would've walked in and parked myself next to the hors d'oeuvre plate (yes, there always is one). I'm not sure if this is insecurity or just hunger - probably more of the former - but I would always eat more of the appetizers than anyone else. Of course, some of those times were because she made my 'favorite' hummus or whatever. I can't say that I really went in with a 'plan' in mind, other than to try to prepare myself to try a little of everything, but have a lot of nothing. I probably could have done without the additional glass of wine, but otherwise I'm calling it a victory!
I asked for only a bite of the dessert, and did not dip into the melted butter. Yay for me.
We have to find those small victories that keep us moving forward right? Finding ways to eat with our family is certainly one of those victory-needed areas!
I'm a bit hungry today, but trying to add more water to fill up.
Make it a good day.
I survived my first dinner prepared by my mother. Usually, I would've walked in and parked myself next to the hors d'oeuvre plate (yes, there always is one). I'm not sure if this is insecurity or just hunger - probably more of the former - but I would always eat more of the appetizers than anyone else. Of course, some of those times were because she made my 'favorite' hummus or whatever. I can't say that I really went in with a 'plan' in mind, other than to try to prepare myself to try a little of everything, but have a lot of nothing. I probably could have done without the additional glass of wine, but otherwise I'm calling it a victory!
I asked for only a bite of the dessert, and did not dip into the melted butter. Yay for me.
We have to find those small victories that keep us moving forward right? Finding ways to eat with our family is certainly one of those victory-needed areas!
I'm a bit hungry today, but trying to add more water to fill up.
Make it a good day.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Given up on the days...
Ok, as much as I would like to, there is just no way I can keep up with this blog daily - at least not right now. So, I've dropped the day designators. If I find unexpected time in the future, maybe I'll pick it back up. ;-)
Big events happened this week. I finished a project I've been working on for over a year, which felt really good. To celebrate, we brought in Outback - calories in check. The sliced fillet with wild mushroom sauce is incredible, and really sensible regarding calories. Reflecting on the week...
I made really good choices. I was amazed how liberating it felt to keep in mind that absolutely nothing is off-limits, as long as I limit the portions. I think that has been a flaw in my thinking in the past. The scale is starting to inch down, which is the right direction. I went for a walk a couple of times this week. I didn't have any huge mis-steps. And, who am I again?
Maybe this was the change I needed. Maybe I sabotaged myself just with the limitations of a traditional diet. In any case, I am not feeling deprived, and I've had no hunger headaches. Yay!
Today I started with a 100-calorie english muffin, with egg whites and a piece of low-fat cheese. Very satisfying. My eldest agreed that the flavor for the egg whites was similar to his sandwich (I did 1 egg and added egg whites to his), so he agreed to switch to whites next time. Small victory there as well. He is becoming more aware of calories along with us, and so far has been enthusiastic about making better choices. He certainly is watching us, which helps keep me on track. Not only do I want to be around for him in the future, I want to set a better example - and better relationship with food - than I have in the past.
Make it a good day.
Big events happened this week. I finished a project I've been working on for over a year, which felt really good. To celebrate, we brought in Outback - calories in check. The sliced fillet with wild mushroom sauce is incredible, and really sensible regarding calories. Reflecting on the week...
I made really good choices. I was amazed how liberating it felt to keep in mind that absolutely nothing is off-limits, as long as I limit the portions. I think that has been a flaw in my thinking in the past. The scale is starting to inch down, which is the right direction. I went for a walk a couple of times this week. I didn't have any huge mis-steps. And, who am I again?
Maybe this was the change I needed. Maybe I sabotaged myself just with the limitations of a traditional diet. In any case, I am not feeling deprived, and I've had no hunger headaches. Yay!
Today I started with a 100-calorie english muffin, with egg whites and a piece of low-fat cheese. Very satisfying. My eldest agreed that the flavor for the egg whites was similar to his sandwich (I did 1 egg and added egg whites to his), so he agreed to switch to whites next time. Small victory there as well. He is becoming more aware of calories along with us, and so far has been enthusiastic about making better choices. He certainly is watching us, which helps keep me on track. Not only do I want to be around for him in the future, I want to set a better example - and better relationship with food - than I have in the past.
Make it a good day.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The answer to 'Why am I still fat? It's been almost a whole week?' - Day 6
It happens every time I start to watch my diet. I do really well the first week, and I get anxious to see results! Why aren't I the size 6 overnight? Let's explore that question?
The most obvious answer is because I am no longer in middle school (the last time I can guess I was a 6 - back when I didn't know what that was). Ok, ok. The other obvious answer would be because I've spent years doing this damage, and only a week un-doing it. Hey, I did walk today!
I am struggling with my impatience today, as always, at the beginning of a journey. Perhaps I will learn to find the joy in the small things - like that I had enough energy to come home and walk, even though I slept horribly the night before. That I have stayed very close to my 1500 calorie target all week. That I am starting to change my habits.
They say that you have to do things at least 7 times to start to change a habit. I'm not sure who 'says' that - or how many times it would mean for healthy eating. Is that 7 days? Probably not. 7 weeks? 7 months? I hope it's not 7 years! I guess time will tell, and I will let you know.
For today, I continue to be surprised by the fat person staring at me in the mirror. It's not me. It will not be me anymore. I am changing...
Make it a good day.
The most obvious answer is because I am no longer in middle school (the last time I can guess I was a 6 - back when I didn't know what that was). Ok, ok. The other obvious answer would be because I've spent years doing this damage, and only a week un-doing it. Hey, I did walk today!
I am struggling with my impatience today, as always, at the beginning of a journey. Perhaps I will learn to find the joy in the small things - like that I had enough energy to come home and walk, even though I slept horribly the night before. That I have stayed very close to my 1500 calorie target all week. That I am starting to change my habits.
They say that you have to do things at least 7 times to start to change a habit. I'm not sure who 'says' that - or how many times it would mean for healthy eating. Is that 7 days? Probably not. 7 weeks? 7 months? I hope it's not 7 years! I guess time will tell, and I will let you know.
For today, I continue to be surprised by the fat person staring at me in the mirror. It's not me. It will not be me anymore. I am changing...
Make it a good day.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Can't be predictable - Day 5
Today's realization came when I was getting ready to leave for work . . . deciding what to pack for lunch. It hit me suddenly that I have a propensity to find a meal I love and 'eat it to death' - meaning that if it works I will eat it every day until I'm sick of it. When I'm sick of it, I'm usually sick of the plan too, and I start deviating in the wrong way. Today's challenge will be finding those additional choices and taking that as a GOOD thing rather than a bad thing. Sure, we all love the comfort of having a ready-known meal ahead of us. It takes all of the guess-work out of it. It also takes most of the pleasure out of it.
I had a great lunch of brown rice, black beans, shredded lettuce, tomatoes, and grilled chicken yesterday. It went over so well we had the same version - plus low fat sour cream - in tortillas for dinner. I have pretty much the same for lunch today, but dinner is the unknown. I'm out there, my friends. What to have, what to have??? I'm looking at this as a good challenge. I know there is football practice tonight, so everyone will be running. Even if it's fast food, it will be a good choice. Hmm. Time to think.
Make it a great day.
I had a great lunch of brown rice, black beans, shredded lettuce, tomatoes, and grilled chicken yesterday. It went over so well we had the same version - plus low fat sour cream - in tortillas for dinner. I have pretty much the same for lunch today, but dinner is the unknown. I'm out there, my friends. What to have, what to have??? I'm looking at this as a good challenge. I know there is football practice tonight, so everyone will be running. Even if it's fast food, it will be a good choice. Hmm. Time to think.
Make it a great day.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Made it through the first one - Day 4
Well, I won't say it was easy - or pretty - but we made it through our first weekend on the new plan. We did REALLY well on Saturday, left to our own devices - with no other family around. It was Sunday that got us. I don't think we went totally haywire - perhaps only to 2000 calories instead of 1500 (and instead of our normal 3000-4000 or more). What is it about eating with 'family' that makes us eat more?
We controlled the meal, so that was fine. We had a wonderful BBQ salmon on the grill, baked sweet potatoes, and a salad. The slip was the befores - we had some fresh salsa and hummus; probably a few too many chips - and wine. I could probably look at some psychological issues that play into my eating more around family, but I'm choosing to look forward instead of back. My choices were better than they have been in the past, and I only have myself to answer to (or blame).
I made myself late this morning, taking the time to craft my lunch, grab a nice breakfast (I made banana nut muffins yesterday - applesauce and egg whites were fat substitutes). I'm feeling good going into our first full week. What is it they say? Onward and upward? Hmm. Maybe I should change that to Onward and Inward... ;-) Make it a great day.
We controlled the meal, so that was fine. We had a wonderful BBQ salmon on the grill, baked sweet potatoes, and a salad. The slip was the befores - we had some fresh salsa and hummus; probably a few too many chips - and wine. I could probably look at some psychological issues that play into my eating more around family, but I'm choosing to look forward instead of back. My choices were better than they have been in the past, and I only have myself to answer to (or blame).
I made myself late this morning, taking the time to craft my lunch, grab a nice breakfast (I made banana nut muffins yesterday - applesauce and egg whites were fat substitutes). I'm feeling good going into our first full week. What is it they say? Onward and upward? Hmm. Maybe I should change that to Onward and Inward... ;-) Make it a great day.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
How do you know? - Day 3
We're in the first weekend of the new choices . . . Does anyone else find weekends incredibly hard? I kept to my 'no cooking on Friday' rule, and we went to Outback. I'm not really sure if I went over my 1500 or not. My husband and I were both checking Web sites and apps to check calories before ordering, but it was a challenge. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking of those recent news pieces where they say calorie information is incorrect most of the time for restaurants - since it depends on the chef at the time. We did both order our meals 'light' - no butter. Sauce on the side. No blooming onion (that was hard). In the end, we decided it was our lightest Friday night meal in many months, so we cut ourselves a break. I'm going to have to do more research on the calorie counts though; every site has different info!
One of the hardest things last night was forgoing my glass (or two) of red wine. It has become a Friday night tradition. It's not that I couldn't have had one - I am definitely in a 'nothing is off-limits' frame of mind. It's that I didn't have the calories to spare. It's about 125 calories for a 5 oz. glass. I know, they are empty calories, and I should just forget about it, but I will work them in some time this weekend.
I have realized that it is very important to keep the mindset that nothing is off limits (at least, right now). I'm doing Ok with just limiting amounts, knowing that I can work something in later.
Oh...big event for us. After we got home from Outback, my husband suggested we go for a family walk. We did it!!! No one complained, and we had a nice time. We walked about a mile. It took about 1/2 hour. We weren't at a stroll, but we weren't at break-neck. But we were moving. Yay for us. Score one for the home team!
One of the hardest things last night was forgoing my glass (or two) of red wine. It has become a Friday night tradition. It's not that I couldn't have had one - I am definitely in a 'nothing is off-limits' frame of mind. It's that I didn't have the calories to spare. It's about 125 calories for a 5 oz. glass. I know, they are empty calories, and I should just forget about it, but I will work them in some time this weekend.
I have realized that it is very important to keep the mindset that nothing is off limits (at least, right now). I'm doing Ok with just limiting amounts, knowing that I can work something in later.
Oh...big event for us. After we got home from Outback, my husband suggested we go for a family walk. We did it!!! No one complained, and we had a nice time. We walked about a mile. It took about 1/2 hour. We weren't at a stroll, but we weren't at break-neck. But we were moving. Yay for us. Score one for the home team!
Friday, July 16, 2010
The journey ahead - Day 2
I did it! Ok, I'm taking comfort in one very small victory, but it's a victory just the same. One day at a time, right? If so, then yesterday was a victory. My goal was to eat 1500 calories. I finished up the day at 1495. Pretty good! I was actually looking for food last night - I ended up with a greek yogurt and 4 Oreo mini cookies. Not the best choice, but much better than my normal snack would have been!
I definitely have already seen how my food choices make me feel. Yesterday's lunch was awesome! One cup of brown rice, one cup of black beans, one cup of grilled chicken breast, one cup of lettuce, and one cup of tomatoes - in a bowl - with a drizzle of teriyaki sauce. Those 530 calories were worth it!!! On the run with the boys last night, I chose a Wendy's kid's meal for dinner. 370 calories and I was ready to gnaw my arm off!!!
Today already had some lessons as well. I found that if I eat, but don't follow it up with water or coffee to help fill me up, the calories seem empty no matter what they are. Hmm. I'll work more on that one.
Took my oldest son to the doctor today - he was very overweight for his age. What am I doing to him? I am his example. I am his food source. The change for me will be the change for him as well. This is all good.
I definitely have already seen how my food choices make me feel. Yesterday's lunch was awesome! One cup of brown rice, one cup of black beans, one cup of grilled chicken breast, one cup of lettuce, and one cup of tomatoes - in a bowl - with a drizzle of teriyaki sauce. Those 530 calories were worth it!!! On the run with the boys last night, I chose a Wendy's kid's meal for dinner. 370 calories and I was ready to gnaw my arm off!!!
Today already had some lessons as well. I found that if I eat, but don't follow it up with water or coffee to help fill me up, the calories seem empty no matter what they are. Hmm. I'll work more on that one.
Took my oldest son to the doctor today - he was very overweight for his age. What am I doing to him? I am his example. I am his food source. The change for me will be the change for him as well. This is all good.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
It has to start somewhere ... Day 1
Ok, as you can see, I tried to begin this blog thing before - but what would I write about? Who would read it? As it turns out, I don't really care who will read it...I'm writing for my own catharsis, my own accountability. For anyone who knows me, it is evident that I have had a nearly-lifelong battle with weight. I'm sure we all deal with psychological issues, but those dealing with weight issues often handle those issues (i.e., stress, the past, the unknown, etc.) with food. It is our comfort. I hope that through this blog I can examine some of those fears, and become more accountable to myself for my choices.
There are too many insecurities for me to jump 'out there' and bare my soul just yet. Since I have found inspiration through Sean Anderson's blog (he has gone from 500 pounds and shed over 250 pounds!), it seems only fitting that on my first day of blogging, I share an excerpt from his Day 1. Perhaps I'll become more comfortable with my own words later.
I also know that losing weight and being healthy and looking good will have tremendously positive effects on every aspect of my life. I've always known that. I firmly believe that I've allowed my weight to hold me back in my career, and more importantly: It's held my family back from fully enjoying life. That's pretty big stuff. I'm writing this blog as a self-motivation tool. I need to write, I need to express my feelings and experiences, I need to continually remind myself of what I need to do and keep doing. That's what this blog is all about. If you read this blog and have a laugh or feel inspired to lose weight too, then it's all the better! But I'm doing it for me. And by doing it for me, I'm also doing it for my beautiful wife and two daughters. How important is it that I lose the weight now?
Well...every now and then I day dream a nightmare where I envision my family at my funeral. I know...it's dark! And very scary. But every time I have a little pain I wonder, is this it? Am I about to collapse? Will my funeral be Thursday?? That's very depressing and scary stuff. But when you're as big as I am, it's something that you have to think about all the time. Again, the question comes: Then why is it so hard to lose the weight?Well, it's hard because there are so many psychological factors that play a part in our daily choices. I eat because it taste good...I eat because I'm stressed out over something...I eat because "we're celebrating"...I eat because it's much easier to eat whatever you want than count calories and make healthy choices. I never exercise on purpose because it's way easier to not. But all of this must change. I convinced myself that my eating and lack of exercise was controlled by my stress level and emotions. So surely I can convince myself that despite a high stress life, I can still eat less and workout. And that's exactly how to lose weight. Eat less and work out. I don't want a surgery or a lapband or anything other than complete control of myself.
This is all about making choices. Every choice we make has a consequence...some good, some bad...Some real good, Some very, very bad. Choices and consequences, that's what it's all about.
So, today it starts...again. I'm trying not to think about the past failures, and the endless yo yos I've experienced over the last 20 years. This is today. Moving forward. A new day.
There are too many insecurities for me to jump 'out there' and bare my soul just yet. Since I have found inspiration through Sean Anderson's blog (he has gone from 500 pounds and shed over 250 pounds!), it seems only fitting that on my first day of blogging, I share an excerpt from his Day 1. Perhaps I'll become more comfortable with my own words later.
I also know that losing weight and being healthy and looking good will have tremendously positive effects on every aspect of my life. I've always known that. I firmly believe that I've allowed my weight to hold me back in my career, and more importantly: It's held my family back from fully enjoying life. That's pretty big stuff. I'm writing this blog as a self-motivation tool. I need to write, I need to express my feelings and experiences, I need to continually remind myself of what I need to do and keep doing. That's what this blog is all about. If you read this blog and have a laugh or feel inspired to lose weight too, then it's all the better! But I'm doing it for me. And by doing it for me, I'm also doing it for my beautiful wife and two daughters. How important is it that I lose the weight now?
Well...every now and then I day dream a nightmare where I envision my family at my funeral. I know...it's dark! And very scary. But every time I have a little pain I wonder, is this it? Am I about to collapse? Will my funeral be Thursday?? That's very depressing and scary stuff. But when you're as big as I am, it's something that you have to think about all the time. Again, the question comes: Then why is it so hard to lose the weight?Well, it's hard because there are so many psychological factors that play a part in our daily choices. I eat because it taste good...I eat because I'm stressed out over something...I eat because "we're celebrating"...I eat because it's much easier to eat whatever you want than count calories and make healthy choices. I never exercise on purpose because it's way easier to not. But all of this must change. I convinced myself that my eating and lack of exercise was controlled by my stress level and emotions. So surely I can convince myself that despite a high stress life, I can still eat less and workout. And that's exactly how to lose weight. Eat less and work out. I don't want a surgery or a lapband or anything other than complete control of myself.
This is all about making choices. Every choice we make has a consequence...some good, some bad...Some real good, Some very, very bad. Choices and consequences, that's what it's all about.
So, today it starts...again. I'm trying not to think about the past failures, and the endless yo yos I've experienced over the last 20 years. This is today. Moving forward. A new day.
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