Friend-Makin Monday . . . err, Tuesday

Kenz has posted a challenge so we can get to know each other a little better. If you have a blog, please post a comment here, or on Kenz's log, and let me know the address of your blog so I can get to know you better!

I like...daisies!!!  Every since my 4th birthday (a daisy birthday, complete with daisy plate, daisy cups, and a daisy dress), they have been my favorite.  They are so cheerful, and make me smile just thinking about them!

I don't like...people who don't keep their word.  Oh, or cucumbers (eek, don't kick me out of the Greek heritage club).

I love...God, my husband, my 2 boys, and my family. I am blessed beyond measure.  I love that I am married to my best friend.  I love to sing! I also love sending unexpected greeting cards to people to make them smile.  Wow, I listed a bunch here.  I'm a lover!

I dream of...winning the lottery and making a different existence for my family than has ever been experienced throughout our family history.  The little van must be getting lost on its way to my house.

I wonder...if people judge my appearance as much as I judge my own (and probably others').

I know...I am a very competent and bright professional, and a good professor.

I went...to another country for the first time when I was in college.  I went to Trinidad on a mission trip.  What an amazing experience, to see those who are less fortunate than you but who are so much more giving than any you've ever met.

I have...no sense of fashion.  I feel really proud of myself if I branch out to wear earrings that are not mixed silver and gold (because the mix matches everything).

I think...all the time!  My mind never, ever, turns off.  If I'm not thinking, I'm singing or humming.

I plan...to graduate with my PhD by the end of this year, committee-willing!

I regret...nothing.  What's the point?  All of those experiences made me who I am today.

I do...too much sometimes.  My wonderful husband reminds me gently.

I drink...too little water, and probably too much wine (on occasion).

I wish...happiness for all in my family.  I hate to see anyone go through hardships, and it breaks my heart when I see poor decisions lead to challenges for them.

I am...very friendly, although I have very, very few friends.  Once I am someone's friend, I am a friend for life.

I am not...good at saying no, but I am learning.

I need...to exercise more.  It's something I really can't stand, but I know it's really good for me.  I also need my family's love and support.  Always, and unconditionally.

I hope...to be the kind of mother my children always enjoy, and always be an excellent example for them.  I also hope to live my life and faith and integrity.

I want...to have the financial freedom to some day take my family on overseas vacations every year, to expose them to other countries and cultures.

I sometimes...feel awkward with small talk.  As outgoing as I am, I just don't know how to have chit chat with someone I don't care that much about (I know, how do you find out more about someone if you don't have chit chat?  Thus my cycle.)

I can...do anything I set my mind to, it's just the setting that is a challenge sometimes.

I work...in higher education, but miss working directly with students where I could make a bigger difference in their lives.

I cannot...imagine my life without my husband.  It is an understatement to say he's my rock and best friend.

I avoid...money issues and housework, although when I get motivated - watch out!

I will...remain committed to my weight loss journey.  For me, first and foremost.  But also for my family.  They deserve my best.  So do I.

The journey begins and continues

So, for the record, I did exercise yesterday. I SO did not want to work out. We nap on the weekends, and it felt so nice and comfortable in the bed. I had been wearing my workout clothes all day - taking the youngest to tennis lessons, picking out house paint, going to lunch . . . tres chic. I even took a nap in those clothes. I had left my socks on, thinking that if I kept them on it would motivate me to get moving when I got up. Then I kicked them off. I was about to give up.

But then, I did it!!! I got up, grabbed a different pair of sneakers (sans socks), and hauled my butt out to walk. My wonderful hubby went with me. I can't say I was a world-beater, but we did at least a mile. In 100 degree weather, that was pretty good. I was just excited that I did it!!!

So, I continue my calorie cutting journey, and begin the journey WITH exercise. Thank you for holding me accountable. I had you in mind as I was out there. I know this is critical to my success. This is a good journey.

Dinner tonight is probably going to be baked crispy chicken fingers done parmesan style (thanks to the Rocco DiSpirito cookbook - love it!). Yes, I think about food all day. I am a committed foodie, but I'm also committed to enjoy more and eat less.

Make it a great day.

I look good from the head up

Have you ever had those days where you look in the mirror and don't like what you see? I know, mirrors are as subjective as my scale . . . ;-) (see previous posts). Yesterday, I didn't like what I saw from the neck down. I looked so WIDE! Eeewww. So, yesterday, I was ok with the head-up view. Too bad all of my mirrors can't crop to that view. The side view is getting better (although I don't like that load-in-your-pants syndrome when you are not small enough to be in the next size, but smaller than the current size). The front view is just not my favorite.

I'm not sure why I lose weight from the top-down. My cheeks seem to show it first, and it's like I'm melting. Next is my arms and chest. The last thing to show it is my rear end and legs (where I want it first!). Why can't we lose weight like when you squeeze a balloon? You squeeze it smaller in the middle and you can make just the top bigger. That wouldn't be bad. Ok, I don't want the version where you squeeze it in the middle and both the top and bottom explode. I've had that version!

So, let's turn this into a positive . . . I like the head-up view. That has a ring. I like keeping my head up. That's what I'm doing on this journey. I'm keeping my head up - on the goal. I'm not wavering.

I've been having discussions with Candy on our commitment to exercising 3 days a week. We agree that the commitment word stinks, but I haven't come up with a new fun word yet . . . it's not like I could easily replace 'exercise' with 'eating a bowl of spaghetti' words and have it make any sense. So, beginning this weekend, we're on 3-a-weeks. Who's with us, and what are you gonna do?

Keep you 'head up', and make it a great day!

From Toos to Dos!

Did I take the stairs this morning? Why, yes, I did! As I was going up I was thinking I need to take a picture to show you how steep they are! These aren't typical stairs . . . they are the kind you're afraid to go down because they are so steep you have to lean over to see the next step - even if you can normally see your toes when you walk. ;-) So, I climbed the mini Everest this morning. My heart rate was up a bit, but not bad - no sweating (and it's a HOT stair well - no air!). They say it takes 7 times? 21 times to make something a habit? I'll get there.

I've been reflecting on Candy's comment . . . I need to get rid of the "toos" and focus on the "dos". She was saying how she always finds excuses for working out (too tired, too busy, etc.). That's a great saying, and one that I will try to work into my new mental mix tape (yes, still working on it . . . this is going to take a while, huh?). So, no more 'toos' - make it a do! So, I am DOing the stairs. What is my next do? Hmm. I already know tonight it will be pouring rain. Maybe I could go over to the gym or break out my Zumba CD and get my latin on. Anyone up for a challenge? That would help my motivation . . . maybe we could commit to exercise 3 days at first? I won't even count my stairs as exercise. ;-)

Let me know, and make it a great day!

Sick of sick

Have you ever noticed that when those around you are under the weather, you sometimes feel naturally sluggish too? Maybe it's just me. Both my eldest son and husband have been fighting some kind of plague-like cough for quite some time. This weekend, other than our previously scheduled church and game times, we really just laid around being lazy. I was so tired! I don't think I was fighting anything off, I was just happy to be lazy. But then, as with those who are really sick, you get tired of being tired and start to perk up.

That's where I am today. I am tired of being tired. I'm tired of this weird funk. I'm sick of them being sick (as are they), and I'm sick of my sympathy symptoms. That's not all. I feel the same way about my weight loss journey. I'm sick of apathy.

Yesterday I took the stairs. I'll have you know that I took them today too . . . twice! I went out for lunch unexpectedly, and I steered my boss towards the stairs before we got to the elevator. He didn't express confusion, but I could see it in his eyes. I've NEVER climbed those stairs with someone else to witness (ok, wait, we have had some fire alarms where everyone had to trudge together). In any case, not only did I conquer the stairs - I did it with a witness!

I noticed I was a little less out of breath. My pants were also a little looser today. I'm hoping my subjective scale follows suit soon. Maybe I'll even dust off my gym membership card (yes, I have one) and hit the elliptical this weekend. I really enjoy it when I go. Not sure why I haven't gone; it's literally across the street from my development. But we get what we give, right? I'm sick of being sick - apathetic - fat. Moving onward and forward. New mix tape installed. I deserve happiness, health, and a kickin body (Ok, I might tweak the wording . . . ;-) ) Yay me!

If anyone is out there and wants to comment, please feel free. Otherwise, I'll just keep rambling to myself!

Make it a great day.

Not avoiding the climb, & Stairs - zero, Me - 1 (Score that is)

Yes, I did it.  I took the stairs to my office this morning.  I wasn't going to . . . I could come up with several excuses why, I tried to tell myself as I walked into the building . . . but then I remembered I had put it in writing!  You all saw my promise!  I said I would, so I did.  Was I winded?  A little, but not as bad as I thought I would be.  I've always been better on the flat walks than the climbs, so I've avoided the climbs.  Hmm.  That was an 'ah ha' sentence.  I have been avoiding the climbs.  I have been avoiding the hard route.

What about you?  If you have been avoiding something - exercise or food related - or other, please feel free to share.  I can't be the only one avoiding the climb. ;-)  So, now I've conquered the measly 3 flights of stairs.  Tomorrow I will do it again.  Maybe I'll add some situps tonight.  Hmm.  We'll see.  Either way, I'm not avoiding the climb!

My breakfast was quick, but on target.  I love the new Fiber One muffins in the freezer section (although I've only been able to find them at SuperTarget so far).  Lunch was a Morning Star veggie burger (I NEVER thought I would have eaten one of those a couple of weeks ago, but Publix was doing a tasting) on a bagel thin (330 calories total), and a 65 calorie bag of Pirates Bootie.  I probably could have added a salad, but I just didn't feel like it.  Dinner tonight.  Not sure.  I've been in a comfort food mood, so maybe some pasta.

Today, I hope you decide to stop avoiding your climb, and join me one step at a time (ha!  literally!).

Make it a great day.

We get what we give . . .

Ok, Sean Anderson... way to bring it home. We get what we put into this journey. I have been putting fair effort (great, compared to previous weight loss journeys); however, exercise . . . has been none existent. I know that I only need to haul my fat butt outside to walk, or even to the TV to put in a workout tape. Ok, the fat comment probably wasn't good for my new mental mix-tape, but in this case it was true. Am I still losing weight? Yep, but not as much as I could be losing. Am I still committed? Yep, but I need to step it up. I need to get more.

I was reminded of what I regularly say to my boys . . . You get what you get, and you don't get upset. Although they get that saying after they have whined when they are faced with a plate of broccoli - that I would happily eat - I have been whining too. I have been internally whining that my weight loss hasn't been fast enough. Yes I'm more than 50 pounds down. But I can do better.

So, where do I start? Let's say it will be by taking the stairs tomorrow up to my office. Those three flights of stairs are usually avoided, as I don't like to start my day winded and sweating. Three stinking flights!!! Poo. They are MINE tomorrow, baby! First conquer stairs - then more. I'll let you know. I'm ready.

We get what we give.

Make it a great day.

Shoring up the river

As much as I love my subjective scale (see previous posts), I have been wishing it was a little less subjective lately . . . specifically, I have been wishing it was choosing smaller numbers! It was stuck most of the weekend (of my own doing - and not exercising), and finally started to creep a bit today - although I'm not sure if it was up or down. I choose down. So, I guess it's time for me to tighten things up, and look for areas I've let things get a little lax. A few weeks ago I was regularly measuring everything put in my mouth. Over the last week, I've been 'guesstimating' a bit more. It looks like my guesstimates might have been high.

Although I haven't stopped counting calories, I wasn't as specific as I needed to be. Ok, Ok, I get it. Pull in the reins, shore up the river, get back to basics.

Let me just pause and grab some self motivation here. In the scheme of things, I am more than 55 pounds lighter than I was at my heaviest, and the scale is going in the right direction. I deserve to be healthy, and I deserve to look good and feel confident. This is not a plateau, it is a refocus. I'm on the right path. Forging ahead. Awesome.

Make it a great day.

New School Year and Starts - but not for me!

Today both of my boys started their new school year. That used to be the time of year . . . almost like New Year's for kids . . . where you promised yourself this year would be different. You would do your homework, keep up in class, blah, blah, blah. I felt sort of liberated driving to work this morning, knowing that although the boys are making those promises to themselves, I do not have to do that! I have already made my life change, and am so happy with the choices I'm making!

It has been so motivating to have my husband along on this journey. We are actually on the SAME program for once, which is so nice. We are counting calories together. I'm still finding the balance between asking him where he is on his calorie count and not appearing to hound him. ;-) He's learning I mean well. ;-)

So, we're growing together . . . no, wait . . . we're SHRINKING together! We made good choices all weekend, other than having the extra glass of wine, which led to the extra Skinny Cow ice cream cone. Ok, in the scheme of things - that 250 calories is SO much less than we ever would have gone astray on previously, but the overage was noted and we moved on.

So, new school year does find me with a new attitude, but thankfully one that has been in place for a month now! I am calmly walking through this journey, reflecting on how I got here, and devoted to not make this change temporary. Another woo hoo for me.

Make it a great day!

Reflecting on reflecting

Today I feel a bit reflective, so bear with me. It seems that when others are going through challenges, it makes me stop and think about what they're going through and how I can learn from the experience. Another blogger I read posted some very personal challenges she is having in her weight loss journey. Although mine is going very well (this time), I am constantly pushing away my own mind demons to keep moving forward. I'm not sure if it's an 'overweight person' thing, or a 'woman thing', or a 'me thing' - but I regularly deal with those mean internal voices telling me to stop, eat what I want, I'll never make it, etc. Then I actually button my jeans, and I get another day of confidence. One thing I am trying to do on this weight loss journey is to really understand why I feel a compulsion to overeat at times, and to make bad choices.

The easy answer is because the poor choice foods often taste better! That's a cop out answer though; many of my favorite foods are healthy. Last week I said I would try to find a new mix tape for my internal tape recorder. I can't say that I've found the perfect words yet. So far, it's just been enough for me to recognize when the old tape starts playing. When I look in the mirror and hear, 'Man, is your butt fat!', I immediately tell myself, 'Your butt is getting smaller!' I know it's a long process to undue more than 20 years of self-inflicted mental abuse. That's really what it is! Hmm! Nice epiphany there.

So, if I have self-afflicted mental abuse, I will start treating myself as I would a friend who had been abused. I will start loving myself, and encouraging myself . . .

I pray for my blogger friend who is searching, but appreciate her honesty to help me reflect on my own journey. I apologize for my reflective tone today, but the insight was good for me! I hope it helps someone else find a truth for themselves as well.

Make it a great day.

Battle of the Free Office Pizza Won, Battle #2

Most people love pizza. Free pizza makes it even that much more inviting. I happen to love pizza, regardless of who's paying, but free makes it more tempting. I've written before about bypassing the free pizza day in the office. And I did it again today.

It's not that I couldn't have the pizza; it certainly would have fit into my calorie allocation. It was that I wanted to prove (again) that I have control over my choices, and can make better food choices for myself. I think my $7.50 was well spent. I got a whole wheat hoagie (I only ate half - saved half for tomorrow!) with smoked turkey, swiss, lettuce, sprouts, and mustard. I let the office buy me a free diet coke and 110 calorie pringles pack. Yay for me!

For someone reading who might not think about food all day, as I do, this accomplishment might seem trivial. For me, it's victorious. I am in control. I am the woman!!! Woo hoo!

So, that battle is over . . . on to dinner tonight. I haven't yet decided what I'm having. I was supposed to have a meeting, so I was planning on having leftover pad thai from Friday night (it's still good, right?), but now I think I should cook. I'm out of pitas. I need to start bringing recipes to the office so I can shop on my way home. Hmm. Nice challenge. I'll see what I come up with.

Make it a great day!

Broken bones but not resolve

No, I didn't break a bone. Whew. Unfortunately, my eldest son did. This is his first break, ok it's just a fracture...but he got the splint and sling. It was hard to watch him get his first medical stuff done to him. He was in great spirits though. None of it phased him (except he's bummed he'll miss football).

It made me think about my own journey. How many times have I let something minor become an excuse for me to change the plan? Had it been me that broke my arm, would I have taken that as a reason to go on a pity party eating binge? Hmm. Maybe the old me, but not now. Because there is nothing off limits, there is nothing to really 'go back' to, except more calories. Wow. That's a big statement for me. There's nothing to back to!!!! Yay, me!!!! I'll take that thought as a victory.

Make it a great day.

Blessings abound

The hubby and I spent a lovely night away . . . I jokingly said we were staying in New Orleans and eating in Paris, which we did . . . but they were both in Orlando. ;-) We had a great time, and we estimated we walked about 6 miles yesterday. That's great, because my wine tour through the Epcot countries and our dinner in France was extravagance. I was originally going to give myself some extra calories. In the end, I decided to just enjoy myself for dinner (and the wine). The DIFFERENCE was that I woke up this morning ready for my day - with calories in mind. I had had an amazing dinner, that I savored every morsel of, but that was yesterday. Today I ordered an egg white omelet with cheese. I was bummed that they put potato somethings with them. The old me would have just eaten them.

NOT THE NEW ME. I ate four or five tiny squares, decided it was too greasy and not worth the calories, and threw it away. Yes, there might be children starving in China, but I threw away food. Big step. I was so proud of myself.

I made nice choices the rest of the day too. I had my cuban chicken chop from Chicken Kitchen for lunch on our way home, and had sushi and steamed dumplings for dinner. And, the best part is that I get leftover Pad Thai tomorrow for lunch (I made it Friday). Already looking forward to that one.

I am loving my new life of control over my choices. Control over my life. Control over my body. Yay me.

Make it a great day.

Did it, and weird noodles

This one be long. I just wanted to report that even though I had allowed myself some leeway for last night's anniversary dinner, I didn't need it! We ordered from Outback, and I had everything light, no butter, etc. No worries! I even had enough calories for wine and my skinny cow ice cream cone. I know, wine isn't the best choice, but I enjoy it, so if it fits every once in a while, I'm keeping it.

I tried a couple of new things. Last night I made the Rocco brownies. I was so excited about them, at only 50 calories. They have black beans in them. They weren't bad, but they weren't anything I want to eat again. Maybe the boys will eat them. ;-). I also got my miracle noodles in the mail. No calories, fat, or carbs. I had them with pasta sauce. Um, interesting. I'll try it again before making my final vote on those.

Tonight I can't decide between my pad Thai recipe or turkey burgers, so I think I'm doing both. Morning star veggie burger for lunch. They are really good!

Wow! Just read over this blog...guess you shouldn't write while hungry either. ;-). Tomorrow we head to Orlando overnight. I'm looking forward to spending some alone time with my hubby. I'm sure we'll have some great food, but we're committed to making conscious choices. Yay, us!

Happy Friday. Make it a great day.

Blessings abound

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary to the most wonderful man . . . who is my best friend in the world, and a fantastic father to our two boys. On special days like today, it's easy to see how blessed I have been in my life.

I actually used my relationship with my husband as an excuse for ignoring any healthy eating habits I might have had before we started dating. I would tell people that we 'eat like we're on vacation all the time, because we're so happy'. Hello food addiction. I am so happy to report that we are both changing that cycle. We are committed to eating healthy and enjoying it . . . so that is our new eating on vacation (see yesterday's post for easing up a bit in 'Paris' on Saturday . . . but with plenty of walking!!!).

I have to giggle as I think about what our family ate for dinner last night. I have been cooking recipes from my new cookbook, and we needed to eat some leftovers. The boys had pita pizzas (Joseph's . . . under 200 calories). Michael, my husband, had two leftover whole-wheat-crusted baked chicken fingers on his pizza to make a faux chicken parmesan, and I had three fingers (one has parmesan, two as buffalo) with celery. We did great!!!

Even with leaving a 200 calorie cushion for a snack at the end of the night (so love the 150 calorie skinny cow ice cream cones), I have been very satisfied - and even leaving some calories on the table.

I like this journey. It feels different than the previous ones, because I have allowed myself to make them different. I allow myself the freedom to make choices throughout the day - with no restriction. What a liberation. I am doing this. It is working. I ROCK!!!!

Happy day, happy life, happy eating. As I said, I am so blessed.

Make it a great day.

Finding yummy alternates

I am a real foodie. I am one of those who can watch the Food Network all day, and not get hungry. I love thinking about food. It's no surprise that I am overweight; however, what occurred to me is that I have been loving FOOD . . . not really the TASTE of the food.

That realization has led to me to go on some sort of food journey of late. I wanted to find ways to have my favorite foods within reasonable parameters, but have healthy alternatives. I can't remember if I have already written about the Rocco DiSpirito cookbook I got. I am SO loving it! The pad thai was out of this world. Last night was buffalo chicken tenders with blue cheese dipping sauce. Yes, sauce. Yummy, yummy.

Tonight, after the boys go to bed - I'm cracking the brownie recipe with the black beans in it. I think it's going to be great. So far, my family has been fairly adventurous with me. Even the 4-year old liked the pita pizzas on Joseph's 60-calorie pita . . . and that's saying something. He is very picky about his pizza thinness and style. I considered it a win.

This weekend might pose more of a challenge. My husband and I are celebrating 15 years together. We are staying at the New Orleans resort at Disney, and have reservations in 'France' for dinner. France. Butter. Beurre. Bon. I love butter and butter sauces, and I love French wine. My husband said, "we're not worrying about dieting this weekend." My response was, "I have to worry about it. I will relax a bit, but I will be keeping calories in mind, and we will share when possible." Those were my big-girl pants speaking there, thank you (not literally). That was a big thought change. Before, I used to look for opportunities to celebrate something special so that I could indulge. That was the old me. The old mirror. The old mix tape. Not. Me. Now.

Make it a great day.

Subjective Scale

I love my scale (it drives my husband crazy!). It never gives you the same answer twice - ever. We have a two story house, and our master bathroom is a tiled floor over plywood, so there is plenty of give in the floor. If you put it in different places around the room, you get different readings. Heck, even if you keep it in the same place, you get a different reading - sometimes by as much as 10 pounds!

The scale used to bug me, when I was going to a 'formal' weight loss place where the people were going to fuss at me if I didn't perform as well as they thought I should. Yeah, I don't go there anymore. Anyway, I have made friends with the scale.

Don't get me wrong. I DON'T like the numbers it's giving me, no matter which one...I just look at it differently. I'm thinking of the scale as my mirror scale. Every time you look in the mirror, you see yourself a little differently. Some days you might like parts of what you see, some days not. The mirror is subjective. It is not absolute. It does not define who you are, only how you see yourself at that moment. The same can be said about that scale.

The numbers on that scale do not define me. I am more than a number (ok, it's weight, I wanted to say I'm less than a number, but work with me here). The numbers on the scale are just there to help me make sure I'm going in the right direction.

I'm still working on my new Mix Tape wording (see yesterday). I was thinking about that on the way to work today. Still reflecting. I'll keep you posted.

For now, may you ALL have subjective scales. :-)

Make it a great day.

Change the Tape!!!

Have you ever read something that resonated with you so strongly that you could actually HEAR the bells going off in your head as you read it??? That happened to me today. Sean Anderson (http://losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/2010/07/day-681-mental-part-is-biggest.html) wrote about how his previous 'mental tape' - the one that we play back to ourselves all the time - was so negative. I've gone to self esteem sessions before, and I was familiar with the concept of getting in touch with that inner voice that is much crueler to you than anyone would actually be. Perhaps it was being a child of the 80's, or maybe it's because I probably even have some 'mix tapes' tucked away in the drawers, but this analogy really struck a chord with me.

My mix tape has been something along the lines of You're a fat pig. You're lazy. You'll never be the pretty one. You can't have it all. They are going to find you out! I know that some of this is the Imposter Syndrome (Google it - interesting concept), but really it is just the Mix Tape! My new mix tape wording will take some time to construct . . . I mean, come on, this one took a while to create too! I don't just want it to be a mirror opposite of what I'm currently hearing. It will be a DIFFERENT tape. I am not just taping over my mix tape. I am CHANGING the tape. I'll keep you posted on the words.

So, on to my weekend. My weekend was full of great food victories! I found some great new cookbooks, and last night I made homemade whole wheat honey sandwich bread, and my favorite - pad thai! Wait for it . . . pad thai = around 300 calories!!! Love the new Rocco DiSpirito cookbook (titled Now eat this!). He takes all the foods I crave and remakes them. Up soon - brownies that have black beans in them. Hmm. 54 calories. We'll see.

It wasn't all about seeing how many 'bad' things I could eat that were good this weekend. I really made an effort to make more healthy choices (And who am I? Wait!!! Change the tape1!!), and I've really enjoyed myself! I have also been trying to enjoy my surroundings and family as I eat! I've found I'm eating much more slowly, and getting full faster. This is FUN!!!  On the weight loss front, I am down 50 pounds from my heaviest (8 in the last 2 weeks, woohoo!).

Ok, I promise to try to create a new mix tape with more positive language . . . and I promise to try to not make it sarcastic. ;-) I don't allow others to talk to me that way, why am I allowing it of and to myself. I deserve better.

Make it a great day, and change the tape!