Change the Tape!!!

Have you ever read something that resonated with you so strongly that you could actually HEAR the bells going off in your head as you read it??? That happened to me today. Sean Anderson (http://losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/2010/07/day-681-mental-part-is-biggest.html) wrote about how his previous 'mental tape' - the one that we play back to ourselves all the time - was so negative. I've gone to self esteem sessions before, and I was familiar with the concept of getting in touch with that inner voice that is much crueler to you than anyone would actually be. Perhaps it was being a child of the 80's, or maybe it's because I probably even have some 'mix tapes' tucked away in the drawers, but this analogy really struck a chord with me.

My mix tape has been something along the lines of You're a fat pig. You're lazy. You'll never be the pretty one. You can't have it all. They are going to find you out! I know that some of this is the Imposter Syndrome (Google it - interesting concept), but really it is just the Mix Tape! My new mix tape wording will take some time to construct . . . I mean, come on, this one took a while to create too! I don't just want it to be a mirror opposite of what I'm currently hearing. It will be a DIFFERENT tape. I am not just taping over my mix tape. I am CHANGING the tape. I'll keep you posted on the words.

So, on to my weekend. My weekend was full of great food victories! I found some great new cookbooks, and last night I made homemade whole wheat honey sandwich bread, and my favorite - pad thai! Wait for it . . . pad thai = around 300 calories!!! Love the new Rocco DiSpirito cookbook (titled Now eat this!). He takes all the foods I crave and remakes them. Up soon - brownies that have black beans in them. Hmm. 54 calories. We'll see.

It wasn't all about seeing how many 'bad' things I could eat that were good this weekend. I really made an effort to make more healthy choices (And who am I? Wait!!! Change the tape1!!), and I've really enjoyed myself! I have also been trying to enjoy my surroundings and family as I eat! I've found I'm eating much more slowly, and getting full faster. This is FUN!!!  On the weight loss front, I am down 50 pounds from my heaviest (8 in the last 2 weeks, woohoo!).

Ok, I promise to try to create a new mix tape with more positive language . . . and I promise to try to not make it sarcastic. ;-) I don't allow others to talk to me that way, why am I allowing it of and to myself. I deserve better.

Make it a great day, and change the tape!